"Welcome to Trader Joe's – I Love You"
I tend to see grim, dystopian predictions of the future as the most valid and accurate. Nineteen Eighty-Four rightly predicted the
surveillance state and institutionalised disfiguring of language. Brave New World foresaw mass-market streamlining of existence coupled with a society exploited and controlled by its most petty
desires. Then there's another brilliant work of dystopian satire, which while perhaps not as weighty
as the two aforementioned novels, still bears heeding and attention: Mike Judge's Idiocracy. In particular, while at Trader Joe's today, I was reminded
of a scene where the movie's protagonist, played by Luke Wilson, goes to one of the Costcos that have overrun the future. Upon entering, a greeter hails him and every other customer as they come into the store, saying "Welcome to Costco - I love you." This is not a genuine proclamation, but something spouted out by a blithering moron whose capability
for experiencing or expressing true affection ends with their paycheque. She is someone too stupid to even understand what she is saying - or why it
is so ridiculous.
From the moment my wife and I walked into Trader Joe's we were bombarded with greetings, smiles, questions as to whether we needed any help. These are all a part of any decent retail experience though. To whit, I've always appreciated Trader Joe's dedication to customer service. The employees have always been considerate and polite, but this went beyond either considerate or polite. It was intrusive. It was irritating. The employees weren't helping anyone or anything, they were getting in the way, and worse, making me sick to my stomach by even having to be around them.