I Forgot Who God Is

I've learned a lot in the last six years since coming to New York. When I look at old journals and blog entries, their naïveté amuses me. In terms of knowledge, wisdom, and good, hard life lessons, I've come a long way by most people's standards.

But there are other things that I've needed to re-learn.

Cornerstone Festival 2008 just ended last Saturday. I can honestly say it was the best one I've ever been to. And it's not just because my favourite bands – including my very favourite, Blaster the Rocketman – were playing, either. In fact, the music this year was secondary to other things happening in my heart. It came from the words people spoke, the prayers people lifted up, and the people I was reunited with themselves.

This week was a reminder to me of something I have not had a firm grasp on for several years now. It reminded me of what God wants, what God has done, how God works through His people. I also felt Him. I wept with Him. I felt Him embracing me and saying that my work is not done, that my calling has never gone away, and that I'm not nearly as alone as I thought I was – and that it wouldn't matter even if I were!

It was a week of re-learning that I must decrease, and He must increase. I also re-learned that God is love, and to be filled with His Spirit will inevitably mean loving kindness, humility and patience – among other things. He re-ignited a passion for His Kingdom. He reminded me what it means to have faith, to pray, to read His word. It shocked me even how far off-kilter I've become towards Him. I feel like the church in Ephesus, finally straggling back to its first love after years of getting caught up in things that involve Him, but yet are not Him.

The main thing I probably forgot about God is that it's all about Him, and not the things that He supports and encourages.

It was a great journey this year, both literally and figuratively. Staying in Pittsburgh with Luke from Red Lipstick Death, going to the prayer meeting at the End, seeing all the old friends from across the country (and globe), meeting great new ones, and then driving back after three-and-a-half hours of sleep. This was a week to remember.

One thing does concern me though, and I ask you all to lift me up in this: right now I feel on fire, spirited, refreshed and renewed, but these are all feelings. I can't live on feelings. I can't stay sustained on emotional highs, regardless of how true and deep their well-spring may come. I know day-to-day life is already coming against me – the Enemy is already coming against me.

When the emotions fade, I don't want to forgot who You are, Father. When the firestorm blows through, I want to be in the midst of it praising You. I don't want to lose this place. I do not want to be left in the dry land with only books and programmes to sustain me. I need You. Now and forever.

I remember who You are now, Father, and what it means to have faith in You, to love You, to hope in You, and to serve You. Let me never forget again.

Comments

[Fab]

Good prayer. Also a good reminder that we can't live off the emotional highs. You'll find it funny that Phoenix asked Jesus to kill him so he could go to heaven.